June 22, 2024

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Transforming Houses Into Homes

In the Land of Unexpected Twists

Is this room getting smaller or is my vision getting bigger? I find myself using humor to keep me from sinking like the titanic deep into the sea of professional discontentment. Occasionally, I throw myself a lifeline of idle conversation just to keep breathing between board meetings. But inevitably there still lingers deep within me such a sense of dissatisfaction.

I try to hide behind the desk basking in a false sense of control and stability. Yet, I can hear the voice of creativity and independence within me yearning to be released. Released to act as agents on my behalf, ready to solicit my potential to the world. But fear grips me and keeps me locked within this glasshouse.

As I sat staring blankly at flashing phones lines, my screensaver and my now cold coffee, I realized what seemed to be an exceptional job, exceptional boss, exceptional office and an exceptional salary has actually become the greatest hindrance to my potential and pursuit of my dreams.

One could say this revelation became my defining moment. Oh, besides the fact that I was laid off due to salary cuts and my car was stolen just a month earlier. Nonetheless, I had to make a choice. I had to decide if I was going to jump back into the career race or begin the scariest journey of my life with uncertainty using my creativity, gifting, abilities and faith as my guide. Was I going to build my own empire or settle with being a slave in someone else’s?

After much prayer and tears I chose the hardest yet most rewarding road. I chose the road that led me to freedom, unlimited possibilities, strength, courage, prosperity and greatness. My life suddenly became a blank canvass. Daily, I found myself creating a masterpiece. I became an entrepreneur. Actually, a Momtreprenuer.

I built a woman’s development and empowerment center. A place where women can
go to enhance their skills, develop their self-esteem while learning concepts, methods, and tools to obtain and achieve their dreams. I call my dream Academy 2020 Development and Empowerment Center for Women. Now my dream will help others reach theirs.

I yearned to pursue my hearts desire and I did not know how to begin. Then life presented me with this diamond in the rough opportunity. It’s like the old adage, “when life hands you a lemon (in my cases a basket full of them), go make lemonade.”

My favor quote is by Linda Ravenhill. She says, “Opportunities of a lifetime must be seized during the lifetime of the opportunity”. Basically this means pursue the opportunity while the opportunity can be pursued. Uncertainty and seemingly instability can be overwhelming but you will never get anywhere sitting in the rocking chair of fear.

Now I run a corporation, create curriculum and manage staff while I am washing the dishes. And I do find myself transforming like Clark Kent from the apron to power suit in a flash. My friend, it can be done! Here are some ideas to help you part your Red Sea.

#1 Get a faith Lift

This will not be an easy road. And I can tell you this: it will be a road paved with success, opportunity, reward, self-contentment and fruits of your labor. However, before you grab you gear let us talk about some valuable lessons I learned over the years.

The first lesson I learned and want to share with you is extremely vital to your success as a Momtrepreneur. Rule number one; seek your source of strength from something deeper than just yourself. On this journey there will be days when you simply do not have the strength to lift a paperclip. Therefore you must be able to tap into something deeper within your spirit to get a faith lift. I suggest prayer; go to a positive and empowering church, mediate, or simply take a break.

#2 Surround yourself with supportive people.

There is nothing like a pessimist on a winning basketball team. The team just had a straight winning season but all Charley the Complainer can remember is every free-throw missed and how many times he did not receive the ball. I learned to not only have a strong faith system and to have a strong support system.

I teach a class at my academy called Significantly Single. The class is geared to encourage women who find themselves in a season of singleness. One of our most vital teachings is on relationships.

We teach there are four relationships every person shares in one way or another. We teach one of the most valuable relationships anyone can have is the one that adds to them by giving support and unconditional acceptance and love.

Then there are those relationships that multiply you. The people in these relationships make you feel unconquerable, mighty and powerful. They celebrate you and do not just tolerate you. These people are master encouragers. They see the good in almost everything about you but balance their exuberance and support with wisdom. They are your personal cheerleaders.

Then there are those relationships that divide and pull you from your goals. These relationships separate you from your hearts pursuit and turn your vision into a mediocre thought. The person in the relationship may have great intentions but the pessimism in them frustrates the potential in you.

Lastly, the most detrimental relationship is one which subtracts from you. A sign you are in the presence of a “subtractor” is this: you leave their presence emotionally and spiritually exhausted because you have just spent the last 45 minutes countering every negative word with optimism. This type of relationship will cause you to abort your pursuit and will detour you from your destiny.
I do believe we need a variety of friendships, however only relationships who help and inspire us to stay in the game.

# 3 Maximize the Moment

There is a series we teach called Maximizing the Moment. It is based on the series created by TD Jakes. In this class we teach you must maximize the moment of every opportunity which has been given to you. You must see every event that comes your way as an opportunity to optimize time and maximize the potential of the moment.

As I close, I remember when my car was stolen. Then shortly after I was laid off my job due to cut backs. I found myself in a very unfamiliar place called the Valley of Unexpected Twists. I am a single mom. I remember thinking what am I going to do now? As I stood outside on my patio with tears streaming down my face repeating, “What am I going to tell my daughter?” Thinking “will she see me differently?” and “will she see me as a failure?” Suddenly, my life had taken an unexpected twist. I was left with several questions.

As time went on those questions got answered and suddenly I realized the road I was on was heading to a dead end. I could not see it then, so someone with greater insight and a much larger view had to help me shift my course to get me on the pursuit of my dreams. Thank you God! Life’s uncertainties can make you better or they can make you bitter. The choice is yours!